At the moment, the world’s favourite ring-and-run service should be sighing a breath of relief. Why? Because I can’t phone and complain at them. And if I had enough hearing to complain over the phone, I would add to my pre-existing complaints the fact they don’t allow complaints to be made online.
Let me walk you through this little cloud of dust I’ve kicked up by jumping up and down on the spot with indignant wrath.
My husband is expecting a package. It’s an important one. We were expecting delivery from today onwards. But what do I find at the delivery address? I find a Fedex failed-delivery card which has been stuck to the front door using a hastily-printed sticker. This sticker is itself a triumph of customer annoyance.
Firstly, it says ‘final attempt’ at delivery on it. Bollocks! I was at the delivery address the day before, and there was no hint of a note showing a previous attempt at delivery. I find that claim suspect at best. Secondly, it threatens to return the item to the sender unless we provide them with re-delivery instructions. But it doesn’t give a deadline for this. Thirdly, the ‘final attempt’ was made on friday afternoon, but their phone line for redeliveries is shut most of the weekend, as the delivery guys would’ve known when they stuck their grim-o-gram to my door.
Fourthly – yes, there’s more! – the sticker truncates the telephone number, chopping off the last couple of digits. Really helpful. So now I have to find them online and see if I can track down the last two digits on that sticker. But… wait! Hope! There’s a little note, saying ‘cut wood in yard’. Could they have tucked the item in the pile of kindling under the veranda by the front door, I wonder? In hope, I check. No, nothing. And that doesn’t make sense anyway; why print out a ‘final attempt’ sticker letting me know they hadn’t been able to deliver if they’ve left it in what they think is a safe place?
So, I think, ‘sod the sticker’. I turn over the card the sticker is stuck to, and spend a moment feeling foolish and relieved to find their redelivery website tracker address on the back. Aha! All is not lost. I take a deep breath and set up the laptop. Ommmm. I just got flooded with impatience hormones, that’s all.
I log in… to find that their package tracker is literally just a tracker.
Well, splendid. What a chocolate teapot of a site.
You can’t give them re-delivery instructions on this site, you can only note with chagrin that your package is lurking at the Camberley depot (which is *&%!!!! miles away) awaiting imminent return to its sender. And of course, to give them actual re-delivery instructions, you can always call their helpline number.
I have managed to convey the situation to my other half, who will call first thing on Monday morning before they can do anything dastardly with the package.
In the meantime I’ll do some boxing and try not to take it personally that so many businesses just assume that people can use the phone.